For He Who...... Whateverrrrr.....!

Things no one prepares you for:

v  In a marriage, you will see bad, ugly, sometimes even unacceptable things coming from your spouse. 

v  Sometimes the change you wait for comes about too slowly to call it “progress.”

v  Anger can control from what you eat one day, to what you feel next week.

v  Your spouse sometimes dresses up the truth to avoid hearing “I told you so.”

v  You doubt yourself and your decision-making and wonder if you’re the only one making sacrifices.

v  Forgiveness is hard.

v  The truth hurts.

v  There may not be as many joyous moments as you hoped for.

v  Routine is a killer.

v  Boredom triggers problems.

v  Trust is delicate, and can be damaged easily.

v  Trust is hard to regain, rebuild and re-possess.

v  Love is measured in effort.

v  Effort is measured in actions.

v  Actions don’t always fix the damage caused by words.

v  You can’t take back hurting your spouse. But you can hope to make up for it by doing something to make them happy.

v  You can reassure your spouse time and time again that you love them, but only your actions will prove it.

v  Money is never enough.

v  Money does not equate happiness.

v  Love and money have a hate/hate relationship.

v  Your past creeps up on you and your spouse even if you try to bury it.

v  Whatever you hide will come out from underneath you and blow up in your face.

v  Your spouse has to be your best friend.

v  You have to be absolutely sure that you are in love with your spouse.

v  Nothing is ever easy.  But it’s easier when you work together.

v  Not everything is always happy. But it’s happier if you are together.

v  Your spouse’s wants and needs should be a priority to you.

v  Your spouse’s happiness must be a priority to you.

v  You must pull energy out of wherever you can to support your spouse and their dreams.

v  Comfort when you are down is essential. You must offer this, give it selflessly, and ask for it when you need it.

v  You should hear that you are loved every day of your life with your spouse.

v  When you take your spouse for granted, they suffer.

v  Life is too short, and you must value your spouse and your time with them.

v  A mutual hobby helps with stress.

v  Love alone isn’t enough. You must build the relationship on respect, trust and understanding.

v  In order for you to love the right way, you can’t hold back. You also have to love selflessly.

v  Your kindness will be rewarded.

v  Family shouldn’t divide you; it should unite you.

v  Sometimes family can make things difficult.

v  A couple should complement itself—two halves that make one unit work well.

v  You should feel complete with one another.

v  You should never want to feel incomplete again.

v  Neglect ends in solitude.

v  Lying ends in solitude.

v  Pride ends in solitude.

v  Disappointing your spouse ends in solitude.

v  Love needs to be kept alive.

v  Stress takes a toll on your attitude towards life, and love.

v  Show appreciation in a way your spouse will understand.

v  No communication means no desire to know your spouse.

v  No one should know your spouse better than you.

v  Marriage is hard. But it’s even harder when you forget these things.

Your Freedom Is Priceless

Never underestimate being alone, for it may be the only time in your life where you find true satisfaction in doing anything you do; even when doing it without a good reason.

You are the keeper of your own time, your own rules, your own space.  No one other than yourself should ever restrict you from living your life the way you want to live it.

At the very first glance, it's difficult to see, and accept, when your freedom has been taken away.  Do not confuse changing and making necessary sacrifices for others with letting them or any circumstance stop you from being you.

Stability is usually only temporary, but inner peace of mind and to be satisfied with yourself and where you're at, that's gotta be more longterm.

When you lose hope in other people, or even one other person, keep in mind that the only hope that really matters is the one you need to have in yourself.

Anything that brings you down, must disappear before you can get yourself back up.

The Punctured Male Ego

Men are clueless.  Just to make things clear for you neanderthals, when another member of the female species happens to compliment, or hit on your woman, it could be handled in some simple ways with little repercussions, if you don't allow your self-absorbed-caveman-attitude to take over in less than .0184 seconds.

Now, most ordinary men would probably jump at the opportunity of their beloved being hit on by another chick, but if that's not your style... you know what else works?  A good banging to reinforce that heterosexuality that perhaps too many drinks and a lot of attention from another human being may or may not seem to distort.

At what point does a man realize that his ego is actually the least important in a situation like this?  Perhaps, loser fuckers, the issue is a lot deeper than it seems and your relationship's foundation is overall cracking and descending, shifting with each daily fuckup of yours.

Now, I'm not saying there is a right or wrong way of handling this situation.  But it doesn't take a motherfucking rocket scientist to figure out that blaming or getting pissed at your significant other is the solution.  In fact, it's just the tip of the shit-berg.  I hope you have a nice, heavy duty umbrella for this one.  The shitstorm's just about to start.

Sex Appeal

For men, I believe it's very visual. A woman looks a certain way, and his biological fuck needle starts to shake. For women, not so much. Sure, we have our stages in life where we act or feel the same way as men, but mostly, we look for some sort of trait that makes YOU, the one loser fucker we choose, different from the rest. Yep, it's true. Trust me.

Now, I am all for gawking at eye candy. I'm actually a complete sucker for a man in a good suit. However, conversation with said good looking man in a good suit is just as important. Perhaps at one point or another you meet somebody that's absolutely so good at not talking because you're too busy to even come up for air that you might not really give a shit; but when you do, as a woman, we tend to pray that this dude isn't going to have verbal diarrhea with nonsense or sound plain ol' dumb as rocks.

One big factor that I believe can stimulate any relationship is good conversation, and a variety of exchanges of intellectual thought. Sure, I can sit and sip my wine while you go on and on about your job, or how your uniform got stained, or how new model cars are looking these days, but it wouldn't hurt to hear something of value from time to time. Actually, it'd be pretty fucking nice.

You shouldn't take offense to a woman saying something like this. It doesn't take a rocket scientist or Harvard graduate to come up with good conversation. And please, don't fuck yourself over by faking it either. That's most certainly worse.

Okay, so the other day I was talking to my good friend and confidant, Ginger. We have been lucky enough to date a pair of neanderthal brothers in our past. Now, we don't like to share and exchange shit about them, but it's bound to happen at some point as we talk about new relationships and so forth. On one occasion, I had the misfortune to receive a very graphic "compliment" from Mr. Terrible (Yes, I mean it, that's his name). Something along the lines of when he'd have the pleasure to perform a certain tongue-related action to a part of my body "where the sun don't quite shine" once again. Listen, men, I am all for dirty, filthy talk, but this shit was just not sexy. Funny enough, this is a man who really can't talk about anything else (maybe sports, as he keeps track of life's daily events according to baseball and basketball scores-- the loser). It's like Chris Rock said in one of his specials: a man with enough time to practice great technique in the sack can't have a full time job (or some shit like that). It would be safe to assume he may also not have time to read a fucking book. :-)

I have a 17 year old nephew who makes me laugh quite a lot. He thinks ignoring girls at school seems to make them like him. He also dislikes "small talk." Being that I'm a woman, and was once a high school girl myself, I tell him small talk is actually what will get him laid. Only horny older women seem to appreciate the straight to the point approach of "Let's go, you know what time it is." Ah, classy. I wish he weren't rebelling and would listen. And speaking fo classy, a rad compliment I got recently was that of a comparison of one of my photos to a modern day Aphrodite. That was nerdy, sexy and classy at the same time.

I wish most men knew who Aphrodite was.

So yes, intelligent men are sexy. And you don't have to scream "sex" to make a conversation absolutely engaging. Now let me go finish my crossword puzzle while I watch CNN in my heels..................

H.e.a.l.i.n.g .....

It is a never, ever ending process; because just when you're about to completely stand the fuck up, someone else decides to stick their foot out and trip you.

After a long, much needed hiatus, yours truly may have recovered a will to write again. I use the word "may" because although there is always something to write about, there may not always be a will to do so.

In the past this blog emphasized on relationships and human behavior that quite honestly does not make any sense. While you may find yourself completely bored, and then pleasantly surprised to see that there is a new post on this blog, let's just call shit by it's real name. Pessimistic, jaded and heartbroken individuals who may find humor in another's horror stories-- That's what's in here. This time around, however, I think I have new material (Yes! imagine that! New horror stories) to share, which eventually, and hopefully, will sound funny enough to help you heal from your own real life bullshit experiences. If not, then I hope you can at least get a goddamn laugh out of it-- and if I fail to even do that, perhaps we can make a pact with Satan and he can give to you the time you wasted reading my motherfucking shit.

Now, let's proceed.....................

Life Is A Joke

Especially when it takes away your reason to have hope.

A New Kind of Love

Yours truly here tried all of February to come up with something positive to write about love; being that love is "celebrated" in said month. I don't know whether I'm more amused or cynical because I was unable to construct a single positive thought about the topic. However, that's old news.

I admit to having been a disgustingly hopeless romantic at one point in my life. I also admit I let that get me into some trouble as far as the choices I made in some of my previous relationships. Sometimes you should take actions that benefit you as an individual, rather than think of you and another person as an item, and therefore deny yourself things that you may not see coming into your life for a long time; if not ever.

Anyway... For someone who would like to say "I've felt love before, and I can recognize exactly what it is at this point in my life," I'm not certain it'd be a completely true statement until today. The reason, however, is not that I've patched things up with an ex, met someone new who has swept me off my feet, or started dating someone of my own gender (come on, you know bitter women experiment more than others). The kind of love I seem to have "stumbled upon" is one I actually was not prepared to know, or feel, much less experience right now. For some time, I didn't even think I'd ever be ready, or even want it. That's the truth. But life spins you around, and through no other action than your very own, you end up in the center of consequence. Whether it's good or bad, will always be up for debate; but how you feel and carry yourself throughout your situation will define your life and the life you've created.

So in other words, I haven't actually MET the person I absolutely, with no doubt in my mind or heart, love more than anything and anyone I've ever had in my life. I don't know what gender this person will be born with, I don't know what this person will look like. I don't even know when exactly this person will finally arrive. I do know, however, that without any of that knowledge, I already feel..... whole.

And no matter what the circumstances are, I also feel immensely grateful.

Happiness

There is nothing more ironic than watching the man you once loved give to someone else the one thing (and everything) you wanted and he denied to you; and finding yourself to be okay with it.

People keep telling me how friendships last forever while marriages don't. I'm not so sure it matters in the end. I believe you build relationships with people, friendships included, which are as strong as the effort, trust, time and truth you invest in them. I also believe that nothing lasts forever. I'm not a believer of guarantees, and the only ones I can accept are the guarantees for death and taxes. Oh, wait. There's also Karma.

Anyway. When you realize that a chapter of your life has closed and a relationship you once had with someone has morphed into something else, your happiness, perhaps, is no longer what you once wanted. Sometimes knowing that this person who means so much to you has some sort of happiness in their life, really is enough. Does this mean you're never going to feel disappointment and anger anymore? No. But at least it means you're not a selfish asshole, bitter, forgotten, and wishing some bad shit on somebody.

Culmination

Sometimes you just have to stop trying to swim upstream and accept that the current is either going to drown you or exhaust you until you drown yourself. When in this situation, make it easy on yourself.

Practicality can be the best thing you ever engage in. It's easier said than done, but sometimes you just know when you've reached a limit, gone the extra mile, spilled your last glass of milk, etc., and so you feel prepared to finally let go.

The Universe will test you. Life will test you. Be strong, believe in yourself, and maintain discipline. No one, not even yourself, can sabotage you if you do these things. Most importantly, believe in your cause, and believe that something better is coming your way. You can't get out of a shitstorm unless you decide to.

Sometimes the end really does come. Some people will tell you cliches like "nothing lasts forever" and other stupid shit... but I know better. Some cycles are hard to break, some nearly impossible. But... endings really are necessary when you find yourself in a repeating conflict that you can't seem to just take charge of. So take charge. Stop the cycle. End it now.

Second Chances

...Please don't panic; I'm not contemplating one.

Do second chances ever end well? Someone like me thinks not. It's simple, if you're so right for each other, so absolutely in love with one another and whatnot; why do you need a first chance to fuck it up and hurt each other and a second one to redeem yourselves? It just makes absolutely no sense.

Perhaps it's one of those "You gotta be there to appreciate it" situations, where really, you can look from the outside but never really know what it's like unless you're on the inside. Seriously, all bullshit aside, though... when was the last time YOU gave a second chance to someone and it actually worked out well? I may be wrong for making the assumption, and judgement, that second chances are simply big "Welcome! Please have a seat and fuck me over again" signs that we put up so that we can later feel sorry for ourselves, but how could one not consider it?? Is it done on purpose? Probably not, although masochism IS real. I've witnessed it.

Anywho...

For all those of you who say things like "Third time's the charm," here's a thought: