Open Relationships

Ideally, one writes well when one writes what one knows. Personally, yours truly here has absolutely no experience with open relationships, but has met people who do.

The other night talking with a close friend, I got to the conclusion that most people are unhappy, unsatisfied, and extremely sexually frustrated in long term relationships. How could this be? if you're with someone for a long period of time, you'd figure you both know each other well enough to please each other or at least maintain some level of compromise in the relationship. Anyway, my friend's situation is yet another example of this type of dilemma. I know this person well enough to state that she wouldn't be game for the whole open relationship business, and most likely, neither would her husband. Now, when it's just for the purpose of a physical fulfillment, what would the person on the opposite side of the spectrum say? In other words, if you knowingly sexually neglect your spouse/partner, how can you deliberately have any objection to an option like an open relationship? For what it's worth (and really, I'm only looking at all possible sides of this situation, nothing more), there's only so much a fucking toy can do for you. So let me examine this from the side of the neglected.

Him: "Baby, I'd like to open up this relationship. I'd like to get laid on a regular basis, and if you can't deliver, it's only fair that I try elsewhere. This won't interfere with US."

Me: "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Okay, that wouldn't go well. I admit it. Let me turn the tables for a minute.

Me: "Hey, I'd like to open up this relationship. I've tried for months to make this work, and it's not happening. You seem to want to be with me in most senses, except in the biblical way. I'm not sure if there is something else I can do that I haven't tried, but if there isn't, my next option is to just look for what I want elsewhere. So.... what do you think?"

Him: "If you're going to fuck someone else, I may just stop fucking you completely."

Yeah, I can't see it working for me; at all.

I wonder if people who go for this option can make it work. I wonder about a lot of things, don't I?

And if you do opt to have an open relationship, how do you not mix one (in other words, merely a booty call) with the other (namely this long term relationship with your stable partner)? Do you set up a schedule, kind of like when you move in with someone and decide to be neurotic about who does the dishes on mondays and takes out the trash on thursdays? Or do you just lie to your partner and say you've gotta work late while you go and get off with your jump-off only to spend your weekend with your adored significant other?

I just can't see this working out well. But that's just me.